Wednesdate #1: Our God-given Roles

 Being married for ten months, I came to reality that I am actually just miles and miles away from being the wife I want to be. I am a work in progress. God has been molding me into this woman I am to be. I have yet a lot to to accomplish and learn. But I know I am loved dearly by my husband.

Today is a special day for me and Allen. After we talked about what I feel about our marriage and how much we want it be better, I told him what I want so we could both adjust. I think most of the wives only want simple things. I for one, only wants to spend quality time with my husband. I can just stay home doing nothing, couching like potatoes as long as I know he is with me, I am happy. That's my love language.

You see there are five Love Languages. Act of Time, Act of Service, Act of Gifts, Act of Touch and Act of Words. There's a book you can read more about these acts to know how to please your spouse and make them feel more loved. My husband on the other hand wants to be served, as I see it. And he also wants Acts of Words. 

It is an essential part of your relationship to your spouse that you know their love languages so you would know how you can treat them better and how to make them feel more loved. This is one's responsibility. I will talk about these languages on my next blog.

Going back, we agreed that Wednesdays should be a day for me. He would not leave the house, won't do any work, or take me out on a date. This is my day. Our day. And we promised to make this special each time. 

Today is our first Wednesdate. I am excited. At least my husband kept his promise. He stayed at home and rested. I cooked Bistek na Bangus for lunch and had sensible conversations with him all throughout the day. In the evening we went to Victory Greenhills for the Week2 of Love + Marriage Series to learn and listen to testimonies of imperfect but God-centered relationships. 

We were a little late.Tonight's topic is all about husbands. It talked about what men should be as a family man. Pastor Dennis Sy categorized men's role:
1.) Men are supposed to be producers, not just consumers.
2.) Men are to be creators and cultivators.
3.) Men are to be tough and tender. 

Men are created to be the head of the family. Someone to lead and provide. Their masculinity is just as necessary as the women's nurturing trait. It is what separates us. Men are the cultivators of the seed God has provided. He is intended to make it grow into full bloom so they could fulfill the role they are given. 

Sometimes we, women nowadays do not understand the concept of fulfilling the roles of husband and wife in pattern with the Lord's teaching. As a competitive, independent and goal-oriented woman, I find it hard to accept that being married now, I should give up my career and be dependent to my husband because that's what the scripture says about being a good wife. To be a submissive and supporting. I should be at the back of my spouse and cheer him on every decisions he make. It was the hardest thing to do. But I know I am fulfilling my purpose, the God-given purpose. I am living the role I should portray. I learned to be humble, to trust my husband whole-heartedly and be ready (if worst comes to worst) to risk my own security or our finances I need to. I have to give him the trust to learn it himself. I have to let him take the lead, as he is supposed to be. In the long run, it will all be for the best. 

I am still in process on being one but with God's grace, I will find contentment and satisfaction on being the plain husband's Companion, Mother and Homemaker. And God will provide me a husband to dream of: Leader, Provider and Protector. 

How about you? What are the steps you do to make your husband lead?

Love, MrsE <3 

God-Given Covenant

Its been a long time since I updated this blog .I've actually got a lot of attempt but I am always busy-fied by my daughter and my mommy duties. As you may know, we have not got any help at home as I prefer taking care of my daughter myself. She is turned eight months last 11th of February and I have never been so content seeing her progress each day. 

Anyway,  just thought of writing now as I face a new moment in my life. Last Sunday, the preach was about Marriage as a COVENANT of God. Our Pastor discussed a lot of amazing factors and realizations on his eight year marriage. While he was talking about it, I am rethinking how our marriage has been since then. We've been married for ten months and I always thought, since we were living together two years prior to or wedding, that it is all the same. I was so wrong. 

Being married with another person is far different than I ever  imagined. Being married means I am going to be a person's other half. It means I would have to be the person he sees every morning when he wakes up, forever. And being a wife means no turning back. It means I wold have to be in support with my husband all the days of our lives. And I always thought it was easy and smooth. It wasn't.

For the past months, my husband and I suffers from some major issues that I don't actually know the roots. I have been thinking of what have been the problem with us. Is it financial? Is it my full time focused on my daughter? Is it his lack of sensitivity? Is it his laziness? Is it stress because I feel too ugly, too fat? Or is it just mis communication?

Our Church Pastor talked about the importance of marriage. He talked about how marriage is being compared with that of the relationship of church and the word of God. That it is inseparable. It is indestructible. It is a God-given gift to us. And it is a covenant of the Lord. 

Marriage is destiny. God gave my spouse to me. He knows we are both better persons with each other. I am a gift to him as he is a gift to me. A gift so precious that God has handpicked for me. He knows exactly what I need that's why I am given the kind of a person my husband is. Our marriage is a covenant that we have to guard with our lives. To take care and to love. To endure and to be suffered upon if managed wrongly. God has put us together in this covenant and as He said,  Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. -Matthew 19:6

We may have a lot of differences on every aspects of life. But I know my husband was given to me because he is the perfect fit. I may have not appreciate my husband as much as I should have but I want to take this opportunity to honor him. Having me as a wife is not easy. I have been the most unbelievably nagger and irritated partner. I know how many times you would have wanted just to stay out late than to come home as you know I would be yelling and naming you with all the possible bad words you always hear from me. But still you come home to kiss and hug me and understand me over and over again. Thank you honey. I can never be the perfect wife but I promise, from now on to be an wonderful wife as possible. The sweetest if I may add. I love you and I thank God for the gift that you are. 

From today, I would consider myself as a gift to my husband. Because I am. A gift that he will not think of being old and dirty but always nice, brand new, surprising and to be cherished forever. 

I love you honey and I always will

How about you? Are you still the gift of God in his eyes?